[DAY 63 OF THE DEEP END PROJECT]
Let’s define the word Thriving.
Dictionary defines it as to prosper; to flourish.
My son’s pediatrician uses this word a lot. Every year when I go for my kids’ well visits and I moan and complain about their eating habits, she says “don’t worry mom, he is a thriving kid”
What she means is that in spite of the fact that my kids maintain a good amount of social distance with broccoli, my kids are flourishing and developing strongly.
A Thriving Business is one that’s flourishing and growing. A Thriving Business Owner is one that is growing, flourishing and has a deep sense of fulfillment for her work.
Gay Hendricks calls this The Zone of Genius in his book, The Big Leap (which I strongly recommend everyone should read, a minimum of 3 times)
Unfortunately, many business owners DO NOT stay in their Zone of Genius. They stay in the Zone of Competence or maximum Excellence. This forces them to Strive rather than Thrive.
Especially women entrepreneurs. We feel we aren’t good enough, so we get used to always Striving as we keep asking ourselves “what’s wrong with me?”
Guilty as charged.
Enters Lesson Number 6. I’ll be honest, as a lifelong recovering people pleaser, I am still learning this one.
The most important skill to run a Thriving Business is not Marketing or Sales or Lead Generation.
It’s definitely not having the skill to make awkward dance videos while pointing at things.
It’s…..dun dun dun…..Boundaries!
Learning to keep Boundaries.
But especially with yourself.
Let me give you an example.
Last year, it was very clear to me that I was working way too much and having way less fun.
I decided that I’ll switch to a 4 Day Work Week. Adjusting my calendar to make that possible for me was the easiest part.
Within 2 days, my VA slacked me with “You are no longer required to work on Fridays”
I was impressed. That was quick. I was also very thrilled.
The first Friday, I did none of the fun stuff I wanted to do. Instead, I cleaned the kitchen, cooked….you know the usual stuff we do.
Second Friday came and again I did some random stuff around the house and ended up booking some “official” calls on my calendar.
By the third Friday, I was back to working. Infact, I worked more than any of the Fridays that week.
That’s what I mean by learning how to keep your boundaries.
Here’s why I am sharing this with you.
Keeping boundaries with other people gets easier when you first keep boundaries with yourself.
Which means, if you said “I won’t work on my Vacation”, then don’t take your laptop and stop checking your email every 15 minutes.
If you said “I am going to enroll in a Money Mindset Course to better my relationship with Money, then do that!”
And in my case, don’t set up meetings on a Friday and definitely do not leave your work till the last minute.
It took me 4 months to commit and recommit to the business decision I had made to myself.
I did officially stop working on a Friday, 99.99% of the times!
After you’ve learned to set boundaries with yourself and kept them, the next step is obviously to create and keep boundaries with clients, team, friends, family, peers, your dog etc.
Here’s the thing I’ve found – People who are lousy at keeping boundaries with themselves, are triple lousy at keeping boundaries with others (**raises hand**)
I am not an expert in teaching you how to create and keep your boundaries. Like I said, I am still learning. I have even read books on it (no shame in my game)
But I will tell you that whatever boundaries I have been able to keep and/or reclaim has truly set me on a path to living a Thriving Life.
I am not there yet although I honestly don’t know if there’s a there there for anything in life. But I am definitely a work in progress and happy to be one!