[DAY 41 OF THE DEEP END PROJECT]
Glennon Doyle was in my dreams last night. She was in my home with her wife Abby. I was fussing over the cleanliness of my home and puffiness of the pillows, desperately hoping to impress her. I really wanted her to notice her books on my bookshelf.
Last night I sent a few pages from my book to my book coach for review. My heart thumped loudly as I pressed the send button.
“This is absolute crap” I was thinking.
“She’s gonna laugh at it!”
When it comes to my book, I have so much resistance. It’s the last thing I work on. I avoid writing for my book. My inner child freaks out at the thought of the book being written and being out there.
I’ve been creating content for years now. I must have at least a 1000 pieces of writing. Some good, some bad and some excellent. And yet, when it comes to writing even a single page for the book, I find every possible excuse not to write.
Who am I to write a book?
This won’t amount to anything, so why should I even try?
I suck.
This idea sucks.
My writing sucks.
So. Much. Resistance
Maybe that’s why Glennon came in my dreams?
I consider her as one of the greatest writers. She is the hallmark of writing for me.
Her book, Love Warrior had a deep influence on me. It activated something inside me.
The following words from the book moved something deep inside of me:
“I know my name now. Love Warrior. I came from Love and I am Love and I will return to Love. A woman who has recovered her true identity as a Love Warrior is the most powerful force on earth. All the darkness and shame and pain in the world can’t defeat her.
Growing up is an unbecoming. My healing has been a peeling away of costume after costume until here I am, still and naked and unashamed before God, stripped down to my real identity. I have unbecome. And now I stand: Warrior. Undressed for battle. Strong and benevolent. Both yin and yang. Complete, not in need of completing. Sent to fight for everything worth having: truth, beauty, kindness, shamelessness, love.”
I still get chills down my spine when I read them.
Maybe Glennon came to me as a reminder that she started with an honest and deeply vulnerable and courageous Facebook post?
And then she just kept writing?
Day after day she kept pressing publish on her blog.
Maybe there’s no magic pill or secret ingredient or a unique talent you need to get what your heart desires? Whether it is to become a published author or own a successful business.
Maybe the secret is to just do it day after day?
Show up on the page.
Press publish.
Press post
Record a video
Make a call
Write a page. Write 3 pages.
Every single day.
Maybe that is the secret, which is not secret at all, right?