[DAY 38 OF THE DEEP END PROJECT]
This Summer of 2021 (or maybe even longer) I am committed to slowing down in the hope that slow flow will become my second nature eventually. The last couple of years I felt like I was shot out of a cannon.
My business grew exponentially and my soul was playing catch up. And because I didn’t know another way to “be” other than hustle, grind and push – – I thought it was okay to always be ON.
My friend Katharina Reed introduced me to The Patriarchy Success Path. I call it the freight train to nowhere.
We’ve all been taught to keep hustling and going from one milestone to next, without taking a breath and even asking “what am I doing all this for?”
In the book, Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware wrote about the 5 regrets of the dying. The top 3 are:
#1 I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
#2 I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
#3 I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
A while ago, I did a journaling exercise where I had to imagine that I was 80 years old. I had to write a letter to my younger self.
What I spilled on the pages was very similar to what I shared above.
It was so moving and eye opening.
This last year put everything in perspective. After hearing so many friends and relatives succumb to COVID, it has been sobering for me.
We have one life and we have no idea how short or long it will be. I definitely do not want to give away my chance of living a joyful and fulfilling life.
Ofcourse, there’s a time and place for pulling up your socks and going after your soul goals with all your might.
But, I also want to enjoy the journey.
And for me slowing down isn’t just about Social Media Detox or a summer of fewer meetings.
Nope, this goes beyond.I am rewiring what I know about living life. The more I pay attention, the more I learn how much I rush through things.
For example; I am always scrolling through social media or replying to emails when I talk to my sister. I am stopping that now and giving the conversation my full attention.
I am a big reader and somewhere I got caught up in reading the maximum number of books in a year. I’d read 3-4 books at a time and even pride myself on it.
I stopped doing that. Now I pick one book at one time. I am reading less books but TBH, I am absorbing more. Some of the books I read last year when I was literally having a book Orgy, I don’t remember anything from it.
Other ways I am slowing down:
- Taking an actual lunch break and not eating at my desk
- Taking frequent breaks during the day. Sometimes I just go and stand in the sun or ground myself by walking barefoot on the grass
- Sipping water slowly and not gulping it down my throat
- Less Plans.
I am not perfect and I get caught up in rushing through things out of habit.
Just today I realised that I signed up my son for camp for the wrong week. Yikes!!!
I make mistakes like this everyday and I absolutely fret over it. But maybe this is how I’ll learn NOT to turn out to be an 80 yr old scornful woman, full of regrets.