Reason behind Women’s Unworthiness, Diminished Value and Fear : Patriarchy


Yesterday I shared this post on my IG Story from my friend and author of Patriarchy Stress Disorder, Dr. Valerie Rein

One of my past client replied “I wonder where it all began! How did we begin trying to “fix” ourselves. Ugh!”

*Deepshikha rolls up her sleeve and grabs the invisible mic*

Allow me to explain!

Years and Years ago,

Women were healers – they knew what to do with herbs outside and inside the kitchen

Women were Creators –  their stomach would mysteriously swell and 9 months later a baby would appear from between their legs (that was magic of those days!)

Women were Nurtures – Not only was she able to create life but also sustain that life by producing milk (pure lady magic!)

Women were oracles – the wisdom keepers, they had many skills including seer like intuition where they could very accurately see the future. This was no magic, it came from them keeping the wisdom of generations after generations, the sacred knowledge of seasons and customs.

Mother’s intuition + Grandma’s wisdom = Witch Like powers 

In short, women were (are) powerful creatures.

When did we become the weaker sex?

Why did we forget that we are powerful? The healer, the creatrix, the nature, the nurture, the destroyer, the truth seeker, the oracle, the fierce and loving, the death and rebirth, the dark and light.

When did we start seeing ourselves as broken, wrong, needing to be fixed or saved by a man?

Cue Patriarchy.

Note : I am not man bashing when I talk about Patriarchy. I am not against men. I am married to one, I gave birth to two.

Patriarchy is a system designed to keep us inside the box, left to wonder “what’s wrong with me?”

A controlling, ego fueled, money obsessed Capitalist System

The idea that we could heal using nature.

That we experienced our bodies as sacred

Moved with the cycles of the moon

Lived in community 

Worked for love and service

Oooooh…..that thought was shit scary for The Church, wealthy landowners and merchants. 

All they wanted was to turn people into work machines. To have a workforce that was built on compliance and money.

In order to build products, they needed to create demand.

So mysticism turned into machines. They needed to take all our power away and to build firm structures to keep us compliant.

They stole and repressed our spiritual beliefs.

Took away our practices, natural ways to heal and commune

Broke our circles

Changed the meanings of words such as “power”, “virgin” – these are just 2 examples of the many words they took away from us

But one thing that created that rift and has been there for 3000 years from within ourselves and with each other

The ‘Witch’ Hunts


Back in the days, witches were women who practiced everyday magic – herbalists, healers, midwives, women who were oracles

If you’ve ever used a Grandma’s home remedy to ease your baby’s stomach pain or put a dream catcher on their bed so that they don’t get nightmares, you’ve practiced witchcraft.

We are all witches.

We don’t need pointy noses and a broomstick. 

If you are a woman, you are powerful and that makes you a witch. 

And if you were alive then (maybe you were), you would have been arrested, tortured and killed – –  for being a woman.

And powerful women are dangerous women in Patriarchy

Women who were healers (midwives in particular) were labelled witches and killed because the men who were graduating from Universities and becoming doctors at that time wanted absolute authority.

Hundreds and thousands of women were rounded up. They were beaten, tortured, burned, drowned, hanged.

And, because women became stronger in belonging, their circles were broken too.

Sisters were turned against each other.

Mothers were turned against daughters and vice versa.

In her book Caliban and the Witch, author Silvia Frederici says that the witch hunts introduced a system of terror for all women. And from that system, emerged a new, much more acceptable model of femininity to which women would have to conform in order to be socially accepted in the developing capitalist society.

How does this show up for us in Online businesses?

Impostor Syndrome

Self Doubt

Hustling to the point of exhaustion and burnout 

Never feeling enough

Hating our bodies and thus not showing up on Social Media

Not believing that you can be paid for your skills and talent

Playing Small

Always looking for the “fix” and “the secret” 

Total disregard of our intuition

Feeling “too much”

Failure to hold boundaries 

I can go on and on…..

Modern Day Patriarchy doesn’t put us on trials. Instead they keep us complaint by turning us against each other, by reminding us that we are never good enough, there’s something wrong with us…..

…..we put ourselves on trial every single day when we wake up and decide that we have no power, that we are not worthy, that we are not smart enough, not beautiful enough.

Fear is the most powerful torture and as women we feel fear deep within our bones.

Fear of being seen

Fear of being heard

Fear of being judged

Fear of being punished for our beliefs and actions

I’ve felt it too.

In March, I wrapped up The Rich Lady Legacy Retreat which was all about Reclaiming Our Power and Unleashing our Inner Goddess. The retreat was a huge success but the next day, I felt the fear of doing this work.

The fear of my ancestors.

The fear of my past lives

I know atleast in one lifetime I was burned and hanged. 

I spent the entire day couped up in my hotel room, crying. Tears didn’t stop because I felt the fear of calling women to power in my cells.

That’s how deep the feminine wound goes.

So, there you have it!

This is how it began and it won’t stop unless you, yes you, stop it!


Reclaim your Power

Strengthen your Inner Wisdom

Co-Create with Nature/ Universe/ Source/ God/ Goddess

Honor every part of yourself, even your shadows

That’s the “RICH” LADY way!


I credit today’s writing to these Books. Much of my research on this topic has come from these extraordinary women and their work.

Witch:Unleashed. Untamed. Unapologetic by Lisa Lister 

Caliban and the Witch by Silvia Federci

Patriarchy Stress Disorder by Dr. Valerie Rein

Photo Credit to Gemma Chua Tran 

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *