[DAY 20 OF THE DEEP END PROJECT]
Brené Brown, coined the term Vulnerability Hangover.
A vulnerability hangover is a gut-wrenching feeling that happens the moment we decide to get real about who we are, what we want, and how we express it.
An evil laugh ensues from somewhere deep within my brain.
Since I am literally baring my soul to you inside The Deep End Project, I am currently being thrashed by Vulnerability Hangover on the daily.
In the past when I mustered the courage to take the emotional risk, I was always left with this deep dread of “what the heck did I do?” and “how can I take it back?”, and then I hid from the world for a few days hoping people would forget.
That option isn’t available right now.
Or let’s just say I am shutting the door on hiding.
If you are familiar with Brené’s work, you probably already know the correlation between Vulnerability and Shame.
But also the importance of having the courage to be Vulnerable in order to live an authentic life.
One of my favorite Brené Brown vulnerability quotes is, “True belonging is not passive. It’s not the belonging that comes with just joining a group. It’s not fitting in or pretending or selling out because it’s safer. It’s a practice that requires us to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be present with people without sacrificing who we are.”
If you’ve ever had even a moment where you allowed yourself to be Vulnerable, you know that’s true.
And when you did gather the courage to be Vulnerable, you also know how bad Vulnerability Hangover sucks.
But in my limited experience ( I am no expert in Vulnerability, Shame or Courage) only way over it is through it.
So here’s how I am dealing with it:
Allowing myself to feel it
I am giving myself a lot of space especially before bed and before I start work in the morning to feel any emotions that are coming up.
This morning I woke up with a huge sense of grief and sadness. I knew that it was because of the writing I did yesterday but there was something else too.
Instead of diving into work, I gave myself a lot of time (and a lot of crying) to feel the emotions.
I call this The Art of Allowing. I did a podcast episode on How to Womxn where I explain it in detail and also the importance of it.
Paying extra attention to my Inner Child
Self awareness is golden on your path to wholeness. Being aware about what she needs is like tending to a small, injured animal. This is where I am fully embodying my feminine side and bringing out the nurturer in me.
Grounding
I usually ground myself everyday but today I felt like walking out in my backyard barefoot and feeling the energy of the Earth.
I felt the energy rise up in my body, spreading in every cell. So good!
Grounding or connecting to Mother Earth is a great way to strengthen your life source energy (prana or chi). If you can’t go outside, do this simple exercise at home for a few minutes everyday.
Sit on the floor or with your feet on the floor.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
Imagine there is a hollow pipe that runs from the base of your spine (your root chakra) to the top of your head (crown chakra). This is your sushuma channel, where your life source energy lives.
See, Imagine or Feel a chord going down from the center of your heart to the core of the Earth.
See, Imagine or Feel the energy of the Earth being drawn up through this cord and entering your body through the base of your spine (root chakra)
Draw this energy through your spine to the center of your heart.
See, Imagine or Feel your Heart Center opening up with this grounding, loving energy.
With every inhale, draw the energy up.
With every exhale, imagine this energy flowing from your heart center to all parts of your body.
When you are finished gently open your eyes.
You can do this anywhere, anytime. I feel connected, grounded and energized every time I do it.
Reminding myself of the Why
I am aware that if I do not write on a particular day, the earth’s not going to stop spinning. That’s why it’s so important for me to remind myself of the reason why I am doing this, everyday.
Another thing that works like gangbusters for me is this another quote by Brené:
“You either walk inside your story and own it or you can stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness”
I am choosing to walk inside my story. You?