[DAY 19 OF THE DEEP END PROJECT]
Oh yeah, I am going there.
Disclaimer: This may make you un-comfortable.
I’d suggest you still read. What you do with it is totally up to you.
So a few days ago I was chatting with someone of similar race as me (I am South Asian) and we got to the topic of race.
She asked me “Have you faced racism in the Online Business?
I knew it then I’d talk about it here.
Have I faced Racism?
The answer isn’t black and white. It has shades of grey.
Blatant Racism?
Not so much.
Maybe once.
When the owner of a local gym complained to me how the upscale town we lived in was now taken over by Indians and Chinese. He was mad that we are the reason no one comes to his gym anymore.
Coz you know his gym was upscale and we come from “developing countries”?
He was interviewing me for the role of a Social Media Manager at his shitty gym.
He forgot 3 things:
- I belonged to the same group of people he was talking about
- I lived in that upscale town, paid taxes, sent my kids to private schools
- I was a paying member of his gym
I was dumbfounded and shocked and a little bit of an idiot because I didn’t call him out on his Bull Shit. I did walk out of there dumping the “free merchandise” he had given me as a favor.
I canceled my membership the next day.
Other than this sole incident, I don’t think anyone has been down right, blatantly racist to me.
HOWEVER……
Bias and Prejudice? That’s a different story.
That’s something I see very often.
For example;
I often get messages and emails asking me :
“Dee I really want to join your Mastermind. I love you and your content. Can you tell me what’s the difference between your Mastermind and {insert a white coach’s name}?”
It used to trigger me a lot.
I no longer reply to such messages or if I do, I don’t answer the question.
Now you might think, what’s wrong in this question? She’s just comparing between two programs? That’s totally fine. Where’s the bias in it?
And yeah you may be right…..
….But this is what I want to ask the people who sent me that question
“Did you ask the white coach how her program compares to mine? Or did you choose to leave that question just for me?”
Infact I know that they didn’t.
Bushra Azhar, Persuasion Strategist, said to me in a recent podcast interview we recorded “We have trained people to love us through their keyboard. If you love me, pay me!!”
I couldn’t have said it better.
(Bushra’s episode will drop on How to Womxn on May 26th. Make sure to listen to it, you will be blown away!)
Another example of Bias is when people talk to me and I tell them about the work I do and they say “that’s exactly what I need” and then they go work with a white coach the next day.
I know what you may be thinking “this is ridiculous Dee. Maybe that other coach is better, more experienced, has better results or maybe you are just a bad marketer?”
I used to think the same way too.
Infact I once hired a Mindset Coach to help me with this because I thought this was a limiting belief.
It obviously didn’t work.
Because Bias is not a limiting belief.
You can’t NLP your way out of it.
And even if it was, a belief isn’t just born out of thin air.
It’s a response to a behavior. Mostly either a Trauma (with a capital T) or trauma (with a lower case t)
Your sister says to you “you are ugly” ——> You think you are ugly ———> You start believing that you are ugly.
Didn’t come out of nowhere.
Even though I tried to convince myself that these “instances” that happened quite regularly to me may be a limiting belief and only if I think positively, I’d be able to get rid of it….. my body told me otherwise.
So why am I talking about this?
This isn’t a rant. I’ve been extremely lucky to work with a very diverse group of women. I have zero complaints.
I’ve been complimented time and again by experts who come into my communities on how diverse my audience is.
I am an extremely confident woman who completely trusts her own ability to generate clients, money and success.
I also do not want you to work with me because of my skin color.
What I hope you’ll do after reading this:
Question your bias.
If you are not gonna ask a question or make a statement to a white person, don’t do it to Black, Brown, East Asian, Indigineous people as well.
If you really want to compare, have an open discussion with both parties or our clients. Do your due diligence yourself.
And as Bushra said, if you love our work, don’t show it with your likes and comments, show it with your dollars!
[P.S. – Wanna do the least, share our work, refer people and show us off in your communities. You can start by sharing this or any other article on this page!]