[DAY 13 OF THE DEEP END PROJECT]
Before you start reading you must know that writing this has taken a lot of courage.
You’ll probably wonder what the big deal is.
But then you don’t know the little girl inside me. She is always on high alert. She is petrified to be judged.
She wants to say the right thing, do the right thing so as to not ruffle any feathers.
She wants to please everyone. But most of all, she wants to be wanted. That’s a visceral need for her.
Rejection runs deep in her veins. Betrayal too.
So she’s very scared right now but also she is ready.
I am ready.
It feels like I am opening up the center of my heart and letting you all take a peek. That feels so Vulnerable.
Earlier this week I bought all the best dark chocolates I could find. I did that intuitively. Perhaps I knew this day was coming and that I’d need to hide in my pantry and stuff my face with it, after I publish this.
I am okay with that.
An extra ride on Peloton.
Fair trade for what’s about to happen.
For letting my shame drop.
For opening my heart and letting it all spill out.
It happened 1.5 years ago during my very first breathwork session.
My Divine Feminine Awakening. And, life has not been the same.
For those of you who aren’t aware of breathwork. It’s conscious breathing in a very controlled, specific way. It allows you to access your subconscious brain resulting in a deep meditative experience.
Mine was no different.
I was having an out of body experience. I was in a different time, different dimension. I was seeing visions of things from a different lifetime. Things I didn’t remember but I now re-member.
It felt surreal yet so real!
Towards the end I saw a woman (a figure?) approaching me. She was gorgeous beyond words. Deep dark eyes. She had a gigantic, majestic headdress and big golden wings on her back.
She walked towards me smiling. She stopped a few feet away and said to me with her radiant smile.
“I am going to enter you now”
Session ended and I was completely mesmerized. My friend who was facilitating the session advised that I write all of it down before I forget or my brain starts telling me that I made it all up.
And trust me, I knew how made up all of it felt!
A few days passed but I couldn’t shake that woman out of my mind. When I meditated, she was there. I felt wings growing out my back.
I had no idea who she was. And what she meant by “I am going to enter you now”
I texted my friend and this time gave her a better description of her.
She immediately sent me a picture and said “was this her?”
My jaw dropped. (I am getting chills down my spine as I write this)
IT WAS HER!!
I had never seen her before. Nor heard of her.
Egyptian Goddess, Isis. Goddess of life, healing and magic.
My friend informed me that I might be getting “initiated” by Isis into The Divine Feminine (I had no freakin’ idea what that meant!)
She recommended a few resources which I dutifully bought and pushed them towards the back of my closet.
But I couldn’t push Isis out of my psyche.
She kept visiting me during my meditation. And, I kept oscillating between getting drawn to her and ignoring her.
ONE DAY THE CALL BECAME STRONGER!
The cat-and-mouse game went on for 1 year and 2 months till I couldn’t ignore the call.
It became very clear to me that there were stronger forces at work here and I was called to the front.
A re-membrance of being done it before, tugged at my heart.
But the more I walked towards it, the more confused I felt. I was like a fish out of water.
I studied Accounting as my major. My entire family has worked in banks.
Back in college days, I could tally a balance sheet in my sleep.
Facts, data, that’s what I understood.
This. This I couldn’t make sense of.
But there was a strong pull (the same pull that’s making me write this today!)
I asked for help.
You know what they say when the student is ready, the mentor appears?
Marin, my Divine Feminine Mentor came into my life in late December last year.
Slowly, we have been unraveling this red thread for me.
Since then, my love affair with Isis has soared!
I’ve had 2 Initiations so far. Both have been an out of body experience.
Both of them in ancient temples of Egypt.
I have never been to Egypt.
There’s 1 more, I have been told.
Believe me I know how hokey pokey this sounds.
I am perhaps risking my entire credibility as a Business Strategist here.
I am fully aware of what you must be thinking; “are you kidding me?” or “shouldn’t you be talking about how to make 6 figures?”
I told my Book Coach “Em, if I have to talk about one more tactic on how to get to six figures, I will die!”
Full Self Expression. That’s what I committed to. So here it is.
Divine Feminine is here and it is the need of the hour that we embody it.
Now more than ever.
Especially for women entrepreneurs.
But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me first explain what Divine Feminine is because I too (like you) was a deer in headlights when I first became aware of it.
Not to mention, there’s absolutely no clear information on google.
Plus, most of the stuff on Instagram and Facebook is so skewed in one direction.
Either it’s extremely religious or it’s almost cult like. Most of it honestly, is very off putting.
And I believe I am being initiated to tell you that it’s neither. That it’s as simple as any other thing to understand and embody.
It’s older than religion. It exists in all of us. And, in every religion.
Plus, we all have access to it.
So what the heck does Divine Feminine mean and why do we need it?
First a Disclaimer : I am gonna use the words Masculine and Feminine here. I am referring to the energy of these words and not in terms of gender and sexuality.
I am for all genders, female, male, binary, non binary, trans and many more.
Divine Feminine is a path back to our wholeness. It is the union of Masculine and Feminine.
Masculine Energy is Doing, Thinking, Analyzing, Giving
Feminine Energy is Feeling, Expressing, Intuiting, Receiving
Our Minds are made up of Mascuine energy
Our Hearts are made up Feminine Energy
For many centuries now, Masculine has led, front and center. Feminine on the other hand has been suppressed, beaten, crushed. We have been cut off from our intuition, from feeling, from expressing.
Divine Feminine is letting the Feminine lead.
We have been separated from our hearts and our bodies.
Divine Feminine ends that separation so that we can be whole again.
It’s the perfect marriage of Heart and Mind.
Heart leads, Mind follows. Not Vice Versa.
Just look around the world. Do you think if Feminine (our hearts) was leading, we would be here?
Brains don’t feel.
She feels empathy, love, compassion.
For people who are different from us, for animals, for our Mother Earth, for our planet.
We are a culture of walking heads full of anxiety, depression, anger, fear and burn out!
We’ve been separated from our true nature for so long.
The only way back to our wholeness is by Letting the Divine Feminine Breathe.
Just let it fucking breathe!
The need for this is imperative.
Especially in business. Especially as Women Entrepreneurs.
Joy will hide as long as the Divine Feminine will hide – Deepak Chopra
I am sure none of us started our business because we wanted to feel joyless. But alas, the chase behind the numbers, the launches, the followers has left many of us joyless.
Over the past few months I have tried to do the work of The Divine Feminine under the garb of “business strategy”
I have talked to many women directly and indirectly about this.
They have all heard me and then gone on to hustling and joining the next “we’ll make you a millionaire in 6 months” program
None of them wants it, all of them need it.
Why am I talking about this today?
I have been there. I started my business as a stay at home mom. I have built it from scratch. With no referrals or any business daddies or mommies.
I have 6 figure launches under my belt
I have a multiple 6-figure business
I built it all on my credibility. On my results.
My clients will vouch for how much I care about them.
I am also not new to hustling (hello, 4 yrs of neck pain!)
But I have NEVER, I mean never felt as much JOY as I feel, when I let my Feminine lead!!
Not when I bought my Valentino’s
Not when I had a $100k month
And even though my fingers are trembling right now, I am gonna put my Mother of Dragons confidence on and tell you this…
I will not hide anymore.
I will proudly and openly walk back on my path to wholeness, wearing a killer outfit and dancing to a Bollywood number.
I will stumble, fall flat on my face and even get lost as the path of Divine Feminine is not linear, it is a labyrinth.
Call me a freak. Call me a weirdo. I am not afraid anymore (okay, that’s not true. I am very afraid but Imma still do it)
And if you choose to follow along, I will gladly show your path to your wholeness too.
We can walk it together or we can dance. Your choice, I’ll even let you choose the song.
As long as it’s not Kanye West.